Vocabulary
Polite Mandarin: Please, Thank You, Sorry — and When to Use Each
5 min read
If you've studied any Mandarin, you know 谢谢 (thank you) and 对不起 (sorry). But "please" is surprisingly tricky — and there are cultural nuances to Mandarin politeness that no one explains clearly.
Here's what you actually need to know.
"Please" in Mandarin — It's Complicated
Here's something that confuses almost every learner: there isn't a direct one-to-one equivalent of "please" that works in every situation.
English "please" can be slapped on the end of almost any request. Mandarin has several words that cover different types of polite requests.
请 (qǐng) — the most direct equivalent, but it's more formal/inviting
- Used when inviting someone to do something: 请坐 (qǐng zuò) — "please sit down"
- Used when beginning a formal request: 请问... (qǐng wèn) — "excuse me / may I ask..."
- Sounds a bit stiff in casual everyday requests
麻烦你... (máfan nǐ...) — "Sorry to bother you, but..." — this is actually how most polite requests work in everyday Mandarin
- 麻烦你帮我一下 — "Could you help me for a second?" (literally: "trouble you to help me a moment")
- Very natural in shops, restaurants, asking for directions
帮我... (bāng wǒ...) — "Help me..." — casual, between friends and family
- 帮我拿一下 — "Grab that for me"
可以...吗？(kěyǐ... ma?) — "Can/Could you...?" — soft and common
- 可以给我菜单吗？— "Could I have the menu?"
The honest takeaway: if you're in a shop or restaurant, 麻烦你 + your request is your most natural go-to. 请 is for invitations and formal openings.
Thank You
| Expression | Pinyin | When to use |
|---|---|---|
| 谢谢 | xièxiè | Always appropriate |
| 谢谢你 | xièxiè nǐ | Slightly more personal |
| 谢谢您 | xièxiè nín | Formal / to elders |
| 非常感谢 | fēicháng gǎnxiè | Very grateful — genuine situations |
| 太感谢了 | tài gǎnxiè le | "I'm so grateful" — heartfelt |
Responding to thanks:
- 不客气 (bù kèqi) — you're welcome
- 没事 (méi shì) — no problem
- 应该的 (yīnggāi de) — it's what I should do (warm, generous)
💡Polite phrases come up in every single conversation. If you want to build out a full set of social and conversational Mandarin around a specific context — restaurant, workplace, travel — LingoIsland can build that island for you.
Try building a Conversation island on LingoIsland — free to start, no experience needed.
Build a Conversation island free →Sorry and Excuse Me
| Expression | Pinyin | When to use |
|---|---|---|
| 对不起 | duìbuqǐ | Genuine apology — I did something wrong |
| 不好意思 | bù hǎo yìsi | Excuse me / I'm embarrassed — more common in everyday use |
| 抱歉 | bàoqiàn | I apologise — slightly more formal |
| 没关系 | méi guānxi | No worries / it's fine (response to apology) |
The key distinction: 对不起 carries real weight — it's for actual wrongdoing. 不好意思 is what you say when you bump into someone, need to squeeze past, or ask for a small favour. In everyday situations, 不好意思 is used far more than 对不起.
A Quick Situational Guide
Ordering food / asking a server: 不好意思，请问... (excuse me, may I ask...) or 麻烦你，我要...
Bumping into someone: 不好意思！
Apologising for being late: 对不起，我迟到了
Getting past someone in a crowd: 不好意思，借过一下 (excuse me, let me through)
Thanking someone for a big favour: 真的非常感谢你 / 太感谢了
💡If 麻烦你 and 不好意思 still feel stiff, short quizzes on real mini-dialogues usually fix that faster than more grammar rules.
Pick a social topic and rehearse until it feels automatic.
Start your first island free →About the author
Cameron — Founder of LingoIsland & Mandarin learner (B2). Read Cameron's story.